SENIOR Living

With a concern for the growing number of “senior living” people, magazines and newspapers are deluged with articles intended to be of help. Written by professionals, they have to be respected. Personally, I’d rather they were written by people who have, as the old saying goes, “been there, done that.”

Thirty years ago, I had quintuple by-pass heart surgery and had to prematurely retire. They predicted the surgery would give me eight to 10 years. I now have had 30 and am now, almost 90 years old.

Despite the suddenness of the emergency surgery and the retirement, fortunately my wife and I, already married 30 years, had made plans including financial arrangements, should such an emergency happen. Rule No. 1: Don’t wait for it to happen.

We had had many discussions on how we would handle retirement or major health problems. Rule No. 2: Don’t solve the problem by planning to move in with your children. One of my sons died eight years ago, one year before my wife passed away.
Our third concern was would we enjoy those retirement years together or, at some point, alone? My wife was very concerned with my condition and wanted to carefully plan for the “alone” part. It is like another old saying, “If you want to make God laugh – tell Him your plans.” She is gone and I’m still here.

But, the nature of our plans provided for both. We definitely couldn’t stay in our big house. To move to a smaller house may leave you among people much younger than you, you don’t fit in. It can be lonely, especially if you are down to one.

So, the solution: a lifetime-care community. Above all, it provides the security for a life you’ve never dreamed of. You are in a community of people close to your age. They’ve been where you’ve been, done what you’ve done. They are as eager to be your friend as you are to be theirs.

Should you lose your life partner, they are there to gather around you. Many have been through what you are going through. They may not knock on your door, but they are there to support you.

But, even more important, they are there to help you join in on a host of activities that you will enjoy. You will be surprised on how much they will help you establish a new life that will make every day for the rest of your life, one that you look forward to.

Alone – you are never alone. But having your life interfered with – never. It’s what you thought could never happen in those last days and years. But it will, and it makes a world of difference. I know. It is.

Don Coan is a resident of Sherwood Oaks Retirement Community.