Who is in and who is out?

My friend, Ralph, sends me jokes, and over the years I have worked a few of them into my articles. He sent me one the other day that got me thinking about some recent cases involving wills I have revised, and why people make changes. Here goes:

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor, and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

A month later the gentleman went back to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. And, I've already changed my will three times!"

I thought I would share with you some of the reasons why someone does this.

Death of a spouse

This is the most frequent reason I see, and it gives the survivor an opportunity to revisit the choices made in the will, such as executor. Perhaps the couple’s children have matured to the point where the parent is comfortable appointing them to serve in this important position.

Create a trust

When one spouse passes away, the survivor may wish to explore having his or her assets placed into a trust for her benefit. This can be helpful if the surviving spouse is not in great health, or is not experienced in handling the finances or managing money. A trust can provide many ways for the survivor to appoint others to help out in these critical areas.

Divorce from a spouse

There is a state law governing the disinheritance of a divorced spouse, but there can be many other reasons that someone would want to make changes. For example, if the spouses have children from their prior marriages, it might be appropriate to take the children of the divorced spouse out of the will. And, if the executor you chose was your now-divorced spouse’s son or daughter, you might want to revisit that selection.

Death of an executor, trustee or guardian

When you name someone to serve in an important position, you expect them to be around when the time comes. If they become ill or die before you do, you will need to appoint someone to take their place. And, sometimes the person moves away or makes some bad personal choices that cause you to think that his judgment is impaired.

A child gaining majority

When your last child attains majority, all of those references to a guardianship trust for minors, as well as your appointments of guardians and trustees, can be eliminated.

Birth of a grandchild

Something happens to grandparents when they look into the eyes of their child’s child. Whatever that feeling is, this joyful occasion brings in many clients who want to make sure the little one is remembered. We can insert language that recognizes the new addition by name, or better yet, we can add a class gift so that all grandchildren born before your death are remembered.

A child becoming estranged

More and more adult children are becoming estranged from their parents. I wouldn’t say it is a tidal wave, but it is certainly a trend that I am seeing. The children, and/or their spouses, simply disconnect from their parents. Some of these cases involve people who live in close proximity, but who simply do not interact. I see obvious pain in my elderly clients’ eyes when they do this, and I know that they have anguished over their decision for a long time before they came in. But when their child won’t take their calls, answer their letters, or even returns the grandchildren’s Christmas presents unopened, or worse yet, denies access to grandchildren, these are real crushers. Each case is different, but all of them are sad.

Desire to make charitable contributions

People who have accumulated more than enough money to take care of themselves may wish to share with the less fortunate. In those cases, they include charitable causes in their wills, and we help them make sure that the charity is legitimate and above-board.

Desire to make financial arrangements for pets

I touched on this concept a few months ago, and there has been some consideration given to making allowances for pets by the state legislature. If you have a pet and you want to assure kind and humane treatment for it after you are gone, ask your lawyer to set up a fund to care for your pets. You can leave the pet to a trusted caretaker, and set some money aside for those purposes. Those of us who are pet owners know that keeping a pet today is an expensive proposition, so we do not want to make the caretaker feel imposed upon or financially burdened.

In making changes to a will, we often can just add what is called a “codicil,” which is a brief addendum that adds a paragraph or revises one in an existing will. If the changes that are needed are more extensive, we will usually recommend a complete new will. Either way, you get the peace of mind that comes from knowing that your wishes will be honored.

Christopher M. Abernethy has been practicing law in Hampton Township since 1976. He focuses on elder law, which includes wills, trusts, powers of attorney, living wills, and probate matters. He also is proficient in all aspects of real estate law and business law. He is a member of the National Association of Elder Law Attorneys, and the AARP Legal Services Network. He can be reached at 412-486-6624 or by email at cabernethy@aaylaw.com.